Bad on just about any metric.


Hack House is another cheaply made horror flick that crept up on Amazon. We are introduced to an experimental halfway house filled with bad actors. Wait, sorry, filled with a variety of crazy criminals! We are introduced to this merry band of criminals complete with a level of edginess from junior high school boys through the eyes of the newcomer Bill. I honestly kind of liked Bill at the start of the film because the actor can’t fully hide his expression of indifference and boredom with the whole thing.

Honestly, I don’t think the film would have been any good no matter what, but the acting is spectacularly bad. Our criminals are all expectantly deviant, though the film seems to want to argue that people with mental handicaps are more likely to be violent deviants. Mental retardation as a cheap punchline is cheap.

The film also seems to revel in the idea of the sole female criminal being under constant threat of rape. Women as a whole in this narrative are little more than objects meant to be used and gawked at by the male characters. Gender relations as vile as these would be on the nose for a 1970s film, for 2017 this is simply tone deaf.

I don’t know how the film manages to be so boring and annoying at the same time. Of course, all hell breaks loose and now our criminals must band together to make it out alive in a predictable, stereotypical, and dumb story. This is a hard film to review because there isn’t really anything to review. It is a series of obnoxious people saying stupid things over cheesy music. Didactic dialogue and corny gore effects top off the whole crap sundae.

Dumb twists don’t save the movie. Honestly, watching paint dry would be better than suffering through this. 0/10

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