Let’s go on social media.

I suppose I shouldn’t complain about watching yet another horror movie with social media as the centering reason for the characters to do what they are doing because it is in the synopsis… but I’m a jerk. It is weird that social media and found footage have both become so popular. Maybe I’m just out of the loop, but does anyone watch people going through haunted places on camera phone? Is this a market?

We follow Tina and Ben as they travel to haunted locales and then look at an underwater location in France. They’re channel isn’t doing as well as they want and Ben (who is a dick) wants more and blah blah blah.

We have a couple of the flattest characters here. I don’t even know how to describe them. They both seem to openly dislike each other as he wants her to be more adventurous and she wants him to be less of a douche. She is at least making an effort, I didn’t see any evidence for Ben trying to not suck though.

I didn’t care about these characters. I don’t know how anyone could. Without caring about the characters, I did not care what happened to them. Why is this so hard for horror? Why can we not have emotionally mature and not annoying characters?

Is it really too much to ask?

Anyway, they pay some totally not shifty creep to take them to a part of a river with a hidden underwater house that is perfectly preserved. Obviously, they pay the fee and head to the house.

This is just another empty Blumhouse film that oddly lacks their characteristic shine. It feels like a cheap film and plays like one, too. I probably could have forgiven some of the mistakes in the narrative if it wasn’t so damn boring. This isn’t a long film, but the pacing is atrocious. Without characters who are engaging the whole thing just drags.

Tina is a chicken who doesn’t want to do this, and Ben ignores her concerns. I found both annoying, but Ben really takes the cake as a terrible protagonist. If the film had the budget for more than two characters, Ben would have been the first one killed. Unfortunately, since there are only two, we are stuck with him.

By the time the story gets off its ass and remembers it is a horror film and not a “how to be a bad boyfriend” documentary all goodwill from the audience will be gone. Want fish jumpscares? Yeah, that’s what this is bringing to the table.

The findings in the house do foster some intrigue, but anytime we start to get anything really interesting the characters drag it down. Of course, something is going on, and of course our characters make stupid decisions. It is just predictable crap that happens to be underwater. Without the setting, this is the same thing we have seen a thousand times.

Another bad horror movie. Why am I even surprised anymore? Aside from all the other issues the whole thing is almost impossible to see due to the setting and poor lighting. A painful film to watch that is also somehow boring.

Not worth the time at all.

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