Let’s see if we can keep the momentum.

VHS 94 ended up being an excellent return to form for the series after the slight misstep of Viral. This means that 99 has some big shoes to fill to keep the pace up.

As you all know, this is an anthology horror film with one overarching narrative. I’ve never been fond of the narrative that links all the tales, but this one is at least humorous. Also, it is perhaps the most memorable of the bunch.

In our first story we follow four obnoxious teens as they break into an old concert venue where things go predictably wrong. I hated these characters so much. There is no point delaying their deaths because no one in the audience is going to feel a thing when they die. This story dragged on way too long.

The film opens with potentially the worst misfire of the entire series and sours the film instantly. I honestly considered turning it off and giving up on the film. It is that bad. It seems like they tried to take the worst trends of recent horror and cram them all into one short. I suppose we should be impressed by such a tragic feat.

Our second story follows some idiot sorority sisters doing a hazing prank that goes wrong. This one isn’t as terrible but it still doesn’t do anything that exciting. My problem here is that it is predictable. There was no sense of surprise or grotesque imagery to fully capture the story. This one plays more like a cautionary tale about hazing and bullying, which seems terribly out of place in this series. I didn’t hate this entry, and it is miles ahead of the first short.

Next up we have Steven Ogg hosting an odd competition show. This one feels more at home in the VHS universe. This one is fun, I guess. I’m having a hard time here as by the time I got to this one I was already burned out of the movie. Leading with this one would have been a lot better.

Then, we’re back to dumbass teenagers. Sure, this is a staple of the series but two in one? Can a series be derivative of itself? We’ve seen this before.

The final one might be the most interesting. It does things and goes places. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone as this will be the only enjoyable romp the film has to offer. At least this one felt like a low-budget gross horror short that the series is known for.

A stunning regression from the previous strong entry.

Skip it

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