Let’s fight a bunch of monsters.

Before we even begin I want to mention that this is from the director of The Descent. Just… keep that in mind.

Holy cow we got ourselves an odd one this time. We follow a pilot who has been shot down in Afghanistan and is on the run from garden variety stock-terrorists. Seriously, this might be the laziest recreation of Afghanistan since Rambo went there. Honestly, the comparison to the awful Rambo sequels might not be that inaccurate as this reminds me of the cheesiest action films out there. Our bad guys can’t aim but our hero certainly can. Look, I get that we can’t have the hero die immediately, but maybe don’t have them take on eight plus villains at once.

Look, the whole intro of the film is designed to get Kate Sinclair down to this abandoned bunker that has been locked up for some reason. I get it, we want to get to the setting as quickly as we can. However, let’s compare this to the long lead up in The Descent. We know the characters quite well long before they even get to the cave. The horror reveal is masterful in that one as it takes its time to make us care. Here, we don’t bother with that sort of development and sprint to the scares, which is a major mistake in my book.

Some weird monster has escaped from an old Russian bunker. Now, they’re attacking all the soldiers in the area. That’s it. That’s the plot.

Anyway, you all want to know how the creatures are. Imagine, if you will, a movie that is somehow darker than a film set in a cave. The creature is mostly practical effects, which is a perk. However, it looks more like an extra in those terrible Resident Evil films than anything actually scary. The special effects portions of the creatures are…awful? 

The characters are terrible, though, and they are almost interchangeable to the point of absurdity. The acting is awful. Everyone just barks at each other with no purpose or point. I get that people have to be stupid in horror movies but this is just beyond the pale. We also have an odd subplot where the black soldier is also a thief, which seems a bit tasteless.

It is an amazing feat to have a film drag and move too quickly at the same time. Honestly, I’m a little impressed that this movie manages to skip important details while still being boring. This film is unintentionally a comedy, not a good one, but a comedy nonetheless. 

Want to watch a bunch of stereotypes fight okay monsters that are a bit boring? I still think you could find better than this. What a terrible film.

Skip it.

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