Let’s see if they’re running out of ideas.

Tremors 3 follows Burt Gummer (Michael Gross) as he returns to the sleepy town of Perfection to find that things are changing. Obnoxious Zen-cowboy Desert Jack (Shawn Christian) now runs graboid safaris and a new development is coming in. Burt is not happy with any of these changes but must save the town when graboids appear once again.

The first half an hour of this movie is physically painful to sit through. We are now introducing characters for the sake of having more characters in the movie. Jack is the now third replacement for Val, and having Burt take over as the lead loses the western charm Early brought. (It is odd that the next installment is a literal western given this shift). If the second Tremors switched to action the third switches to camp.

Practical effects have almost been entirely abandoned. The large albino graboid looks more like a penis than a monster (I’m sure all the psychoanalysts just fell over reading that). We also have the return of the shriekers and a new mutation… …. … called assblasters.

It is hard to review this movie seriously when it doesn’t take itself seriously. However, that is part of the problem. The first Tremors was made with care and is considered a classic for it. This one feels cheaper due to a rushed production and corner-cutting effects. Bad CGI is something horror fans more or less must accept in their films, but this is really bad. The assblasters in particular look like rubbery garbage.

We also have a “whatever” approach to storytelling. The evolution of these monsters is so nonsensical it is simply baffling. Graboids to shriekers to assblasters and then back to graboids? What? Look, it is all just crap to get a new type of monster for our heroes to figure out how to blow up. However, do we really need more monsters? Each new iteration seems less threatening than the original and looks worse.

There isn’t much to say about this one other than we have completely abandoned the original in favor of stupid entertainment. I would be more forgiving if the film actually entertained, but it is just a slog to get through. I think dropping a baked potato on the floor would be more enlightening than anything here.

This is just a nothing film. I knew that the series would eventually fall off a cliff, but I did not expect it to happen so quickly.

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